Merry Christmas Honey!

This will be our 6th Christmas together (officially together, not counting the on and off years of my early 20's). My how times have changed....year one I gave him crotchless panties (for me of course!) and he gave me a spa gift certificate, year two I gave him an XM radio and he gave me a blue topaz necklace, year three, well I don't remember what I gave him but I got the matching john hardy bracelet, year four we took a December trip to St. Thomas and I think I weaseled out a lemon quarts cocktail ring, last year he wanted this huge tool chest which I had shipped to the house, I couldn't bring it in from the porch so DH had to bring in his own gift. Well the box was wet from the rain and the tool chest slid out and dropped on his foot causing his big toe to swell and then we had to cancel our New Years plans. A few dr. appointments later and some antibiotics he was just fine. I will only purchase presents for DH that I can lift my self:) Oh, and year five I got a watch.

So here we are at year six and there is no need to go shopping...because my DH got a Cystic Fibrosis Profile blood test to the tune of $800 out of pocket! Merry Christmas!!

and he is not a carrier, that is good news! We are on separate insurance and his insurance did not see the blood test as necessary :( We are going to appeal but b/c its part of "treatment" we might be SOL.

and on a down...

I am one of the luck 10% of the population who's MMR vaccine wore off! Specifically Rubella. What is rubella you ask? German Measles. What are German measles? Who the eff knows because there were only 11 cases reported in all of 2006. Yes, Rubella could cause one to have to terminate a pregnancy, but only with only 11 cases in a year what are the effing chances one would even come in contact with it! and it is by no means common screening when a couple is just trying to get pregnancy, but with IVF its required. Someone should warn the general public who is just haphazardly having sex to make babies that there is a safer way. I wouldn't be sooo annoyed but I must wait 30 days after the shot to continue treatments. That is putting us boarder line with being able to cycle before the Christmas break. I can wait 30 days but if I have to wait till January I'll be pretty unhappy.

on an UP :)

This week was def. one of the better weeks. AF showed up on Tuesday and I started birth control on Wednesday for my IVF cycle! BCBS agreed with my logic and approved us to move right to IVF and even gave it to us in writing! I'm going in tomorrow for more b/w and for a "sounding" so the doc know just where to place the embryos...which hopefully we will have. I should also get my calendar tomorrow. Can't wait, this is like Christmas for me:)

the ups and downs

Some days I am so optimistic that everything is going to turn out okay and other days I am preoccupied with terrible thoughts. Some days it starts out good and turns to bad by the time I get to work other days I'm perfectly happy at work and as soon as I walk in the door it turns bad. At least at work I have two great employees that keep my mind off IF. They are both 8 years younger than me and single so baby making is not even in their realm. They both know a bit of what I am going through, after being secretive about dr. appointments they started to think something was really really wrong so I told them before they started rumors I was dieing. But then I come home...and everything at home reminds me we don't have a baby yet. The empty room down the hall (ok, it has a mattress and junk we don't use in it and my bff stays there sometimes) that we had painted pale blue when we had the rest of the house painted, baby announcements from friends come in the mail, prenatal vitamins on the counter, dr. appointments marked on the calendar and so on. Then I go for a walk in our neighborhood, which I love. Within 1/2 mile I pass two playgrounds that I can't wait to take our kids to, a soccer field that always seems to have practice going on, so many strollers I can't keep count (and I've noticed a high number of twins lately...I always wonder if they had IF too), and at the end of my loop is the hospital I hope to have our babies at as I was born there too.

While I'm at it...

Dear Blue Cross Blue Shield,

Please approve me to move straight to IVF and skip the IUI. Our chances on our own are like, um .01% with my PCOS and DH 1% morphology. Our chances with IUI are not much better...and to even make it worth trying DH count would need to improve and that could take months. So here is my thoughts BCBS- I have $20K to work with-

Let us do IVF- let say it cost you $13K - b/c we need ICSI too.

You could win, cycle one could work! Saving BCBS $7k

If not, I would have $7k left to do FET (if we are lucky), or try IUI (b/c even thought the plan is IVF DH will be seeing dr. to see if the count will come up)

Results- BCBS out $20K and we are then OOP.

If we do IUI first...very little chance of working at this point in time...waste $7k in cycles before IVF at $13k...BCBS automatically out $20K.

Now does anyone thing a insurance company will agree with my logic??

I started prometrium to bring on my period (got to day 42 with no O!) and if BCBS smiles on me we will move to IVF w/ISIC when my period starts...should happen between Oct 17 and 21. My RE said we have plenty of time to get an IVF cycle in before they close the lab for Christmas:)

Dear Cat,

While I know one day I will wake up to a vomiting child I really wish I didn't wake up this morning to a vomiting cat...right next to my bed...on my morning to sleep in. I also think it is very sneaky that it happens on the morning your father isn't home. Is this a glimpse into my future?

Dear Husband,

Can you please leave the tooth past when going on a business trip? I understand you looked around and didn't see another tube so you took the only one you could find. But didn't it dawn on you that tube was the only one in the house? You could have used it this morning and picked one up for your self on your way out of town. Now I must brush my teeth with mouth wash.

How can we parent a child

When my husband can't remember tell me he is going to happy hour after work!!! How does one just forget to tell their spouse they are not coming home after work?? and I know he is not doing anything shady, he answered his phone at the bar and was like, "didn't I tell you?" Um, no or I wouldn't be sitting here waiting for you so I could make us dinner!!!!!

Onto other news...we have confirmed the low morphology and are waiting for our IVF plan. I should be speaking to the doctor tomorrow and have a better idea of what is going to happen and hopefully when. I hate not knowing!

I also had a client at work today try to get out of paying a fee because she just found out she is pregnant..."we need to save all we can for the baby" Can I say "we just found out we will need costly procedures to have a baby so I should get a break too!" Why is hers acceptable and mine would never fly! Well, she is asking the wrong person b/c I'm not cutting any breaks! Besides everyone always has a reason for trying not to pay...I don't care! I still have to pay my bills.